The MarySue Scheme
by Camlop
Summary: One-shot. After Beast Boy and Cyborg prank Titans East along with some Honorary Titans and introduce them to the world of fan fiction, they come home to realize that maybe they need a taste of their own medicine.


SUMMARY: (Takes place after my "The Teen Titans Meet Fan Fiction.") Beast Boy and Cyborg had successfully pranked Titans East, along with Kole, Jericho, Herald, and Argent (and, last minute, Kid Flash and Jinx). As soon as they came home, however, they discovered a teenage girl inside their Tower. The Titans scramble to figure out the mystery about this obnoxious and suspiciously overpowered girl. ONE SHOT.

A/N: I was tempted to put "Horror" as a genre because this mystery girl is certainly a horror. But that would be misleading.

Beast Boy and Cyborg had just gotten home after hurrying over to Titans East in Steel City to prank them. Beast Boy had gotten the surprisingly genius idea to introduce Titans East—along with Kole, Jericho, Herald, Argent, Kid Flash, and Jinx—to fan fiction, but it was a daunting task. First, Beast Boy and Cyborg had to find a good excuse to summon the Honorary Titans over to the Titans East tower, but eventually all of the invitees arrived. Cyborg hacked into the Titans East tower, prompting a lockdown and refusing to deactivate it—he had changed the passcodes so that Titans East couldn't shut off the lockdown, and to be honest, Cyborg had forgotten to mention this new passcode shutdown feature to his actual team because he was sincerely interested in reading the fan fictions—until Titans East and the Honorary Titans had read fan fictions about themselves. Of course, Speedy took the opportunity to read a few RobStar, BBxRae, RobRae, BBxTerra (whoever Terra was), and other fan fictions, including ones that paired up Starfire and Red X or Raven and Red X. Quite a few mentioned that Red X—a notorious criminal they had heard about on a national news channel—was Jason Todd, one of Batman's former Robin sidekicks, but Jason had gone rogue. The Titans East couldn't help but wonder if this were true, and if Robin had dared to consider this surprisingly common theory.

Of course, Titans East was not too happy—especially Speedy—after reading their fan fictions. First, they read one that involved Mas y Menos fighting with Gizmo over Melvin—they didn't let the twins find out what the fan fiction was about, but the fast twins did notice their names mentioned in the fan fiction—and Bumblebee ended up calling out the fan fiction's errors.

_FLASHBACK:_

"That's wrong!" Bumblebee yelled out after going several paragraphs into the Melvin fan fiction. "Sparky—er, Cyborg—told me that Gizmo's twelve years old, and Raven told Aqualad a while back about Melvin, Timmy Teether, and the other kid. Melvin's, like, seven or something, and although Mas y Menos are around Gizmo's age, Melvin is not even close! That's total pedophilia, even though they're all pre-pubescent! This is blasphem—"

"Yo, Bumbles, chill," Speedy said, cutting her off as he laid on the sofa with his feet outstretched onto the coffee table. His left arm rested on the backrest of the sofa while he munched on a fish taco with the other, much to Aqualad's annoyance.

"Maybe you're a little _too_ chill," Aqualad snapped, seething at the sight of Speedy eating seafood. "You have no respect at all! I mean, look at you: you're eating a _fish taco!"  
_ "Mahi mahi," Speedy clarified, smiling.

Aqualad grumbled. "Can we replace you with Robin? No one would notice at first."

Speedy finished his taco, crumbled up the wrapping paper, and he tossed it aside, brushing his hands together. He bent one leg over the other as he pulled out a compact mirror and a comb. He began running the comb through his straight, flat hair, which added to his usual vain, laid-back demeanor. "Just because I have an identical mask doesn't mean anyone's stupid enough to mistake me for Robin… _Unitard Guy," _Speedy's grin widened as he recalled the time Titans East had taken temporary responsibility over Jump City while the original Titans went off to battle the Brotherhood of Evil.

"I completely believe you, _Robin," _Aqualad retorted, mimicking Speedy's posture on the sofa. "Anyway, can we get back to the fan fiction before Speedy does something _else _to tempt me into feeding him to raging piranhas?"

Speedy shook his head, chuckling to himself while Herald began reading the rest of the fan fiction. The next time Speedy and Aqualad interacted with each other was when they read a fan fiction shipping them with Starfire and Raven, and… Robin.

_FLASHBACK OVER._

Cyborg and Beast Boy decided to hit up the Gamestation XL and play a ninja fury game, but when they entered the Main Ops room, their eyes widened when they saw Robin, Raven, and Starfire looking very annoyed while a mysterious girl blabbed on and on about her powers.

"Uh… who's that?" Beast Boy asked, catching the Titans' attention. The girl shut up for a second, as Beast Boy's appearance had distracted her. The trio—who were sitting on the stools around the kitchen counters—looked rather relieved to have an interruption.

"And what's she doin' in my tower?" questioned Cyborg. "Hey, wait a sec; is she a civilian?"

The girl hopped over to Beast Boy and Cyborg. She had layered brown hair pulled up in a ponytail, and her blue eyes sparkled. The mystery girl was suited up in dark skinny jeans with a black t-shirt and red converse. Dog tags hung around her neck.

"Hi, I'm Ashley. Ashley Gianna Mabel Daymon. But you can call me by my superhero name: Ash." The girl awkwardly shot out her hand, which Cyborg reluctantly took and shook.

"Um… hi? Nice to meet you?"

Beast Boy's arms were crossed. As soon as Ash looked over at him, he exploded. "Who _are _you?"

"Um, I just answered that question."

"I think he means to ask why you're here," Cyborg explained, crossing his arms.

"I have powers, and while your three friends were trying to defeat Andre le Blanc, I defeated him in a matter of seconds," Ash said, beaming as she put her hands on her hips. "I am telepathic and can telekinetically move objects. I also can shoot beams out of my eyes and use x-ray vision. Additionally, I have super strength and am a very skilled martial artist. Starfire invited me to come to the tower!"  
Meanwhile, Starfire looked very confused. "No, I did not. I do not understand…"

"I know, Star," Ash said, catching Starfire's attention by using her nickname. "Wanna go shopping? I know some _great _stores we can hit up." Before Starfire could open her mouth, Ash turned to Raven. "And we can meditate on the roof after that. Oh, and Robin?"—she turned to Robin—"Yes, I'll be your sparring partner. After that, everyone will be exhausted, no doubt, so we'll need to get rest."

The trio in the kitchen groaned, slouching. Cyborg and Beast Boy looked over at their teammates, and Cyborg quickly thought of a way to get Ash to leave them alone, at least for a short bit.

"Ash, why don't you go… um… take a tour? Alone?" Cyborg suggested. Ash smiled and left the room. The doors slid shut behind her.

_"THANK YOU!" _Robin, Raven, and Starfire groaned. Raven blew a stray strand of hair out of her face while Starfire wiped her forehead and Robin adjusted his uniform. They looked exhausted.

"Wanna tell us what happened?" Cyborg asked.

"She just showed up in the tower," Robin explained. "I was coming out of the bathroom and I saw her trying to open Raven's door."

"I was meditating on the roof," Raven explained. "I had no idea until Robin called Starfire and I over."

"Yes, it was most… odd," Starfire added. "She introduced herself and immediately came here, and we followed, trying to figure out how she entered the tower and what she wanted. She did not pose a threat, and Robin attempted to make her leave, but she began ignoring all of us and immediately began telling a story about herself."

"I figured you turned off the security, but it was up," Robin stated. "Although at approximately 4:30 PM, the security was shut off for a minute, and then put back up. We found here at 4:50 PM."

Cyborg glanced down at his arm; it was now 5:30 PM. "Alright, so not too long ago."

"Long enough," Raven muttered, rubbing her temples as her eyes were shut. She levitated and crossed her legs, preparing to meditate. She opened one eye and peeked at Cyborg and Beast Boy. "I already have a headache from her blabbering."

Beast Boy looked at Raven expectantly, awaiting an insult that was surely to come; but it never did. Raven opened her eyes again and looked at Beast Boy, having sensed that someone was staring at her.

"What?"

"You're not gonna insult me?"  
Raven stayed silent for a moment, and then spoke after deciding her answer. "I've gotten used to _your _blabbering."

"Oh, I see what you _really _mean," Beast Boy replied, smiling as he wiggled his eyebrows and clasped his hands together hopefully. "I don't really bother you! Face it, you like my company!"  
Before Raven could contemplate what to say, Robin cut in with a mischievous smile. Cyborg noticed, and he snickered, knowing what was to come.

Raven and Beast Boy glanced at Robin, who was now standing with his arms crossed. The team leader spoke, a teasing tone in his voice. "We read a few fan fictions about you two 'arguments' like this. And we all know what happened in _those _fan fictions."

Raven and Beast Boy's faces dropped and paled.

"I counted," Cyborg cut in. "After the whole 'fan fiction incident', Robin, Star and I decided to read a few more… mostly pertaining to _your ship."_

Raven was standing straight now, but her knees buckled. She quickly grabbed the counter, but it was no use; she collapsed onto the ground.

"You guys are gonna kill me for this," Beast Boy said quickly before running to Raven's aid. He helped her up, but she was still in a state of humiliation and shock. He looked up at her. "Uh, Rae? Raven? Are you… okay?"

"I read another fan fiction where Raven falls and Beast Boy helps her up," Cyborg snickered, covering his smile with his robotic hands. "You two can guess the rest."

Before Robin and Cyborg could say any more, Raven's powers exploded. Two raven claws grabbed the leader and back-up leader, lifting them into the air. Robin frantically struggled in the tight grip of the dark energy while Cyborg shrugged and rested his face on his arm, not bothering to fight or squirm.

Raven stepped up to them and grew in size. Black tendrils shot out from under her cloak, reaching over the two boys. Her eyes were glowing white, but hey; at least it wasn't two sets of red eyes—now _that _would be bad.

Her shadow loomed over the two. She growled and bared her teeth, which were clenched together tightly in an angry frown. If Cyborg wasn't frightened out of his mind before, he was now.

"Raven, please!" Starfire called out, stepping in between Raven and the boys. "They mean no harm. They are simply being clorbag varblerneilks. Please, set them down. I shall take care of them for you."

"I can handle this, Star," Raven growled, but she realized what she was doing and she sighed, shrinking down to her normal size. Raven released the boys and withdrew her dark energy. Her shoulders slouched; she was disappointed in herself, but she remembered what the two boys had said. She glared at the boys and sneered, "Don't you two _ever _think about speaking words like that _again."  
_ Starfire placed a hand on Raven's shoulder, relaxing her. Raven turned and headed out of the Main Ops—probably to her room to meditate in peace—and Starfire looked at the two teammates. She stepped towards them, suddenly looming over the two with a furious expression on her face. Green flames were practically shooting out of her eyes as she pointed at the boys.

_"YOU ROYAL CLORBAGS!" _Starfire spat. Robin and Cyborg shrunk down in a mixture of fright, intimidation, and shame. _"YOU HAVE UPSET FRIEND RAVEN! YOU TWO ARE LUCKY I STEPPED IN TO TAKE OVER, OR ELSE SHE MAY HAVE DONE SOMETHING MUCH, MUCH WORSE!"_

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow in Starfire's performance; it was as though she had taken over Raven's emotions. Seeing as it was time to get out of here, Beast Boy exited the Main Ops room, but as soon as the doors slid behind him, he found himself staring at Ash, along with Raven. He grumbled; he had forgotten about Ash. Ash was holding Raven's spell book.

Uh, oh.

As if on cue, Raven shot up into her raging look, but this time her eyes were glowing red. Beast Boy stepped back and gulped; at least the two girls hadn't notic—

"Oh, hey, BB!" Ash giggled, tossing him Raven's spell book. "Raven and I are going to meditate. I think she hates me, which is why I'm blackmailing her with her spell book, but Raven doesn't scare me. Don't worry about it; I got this, I'll calm her down. After all, I know her best; she's my friend."  
"You are nowhere _close _to being my friend," Raven yelled demonically. A claw shot out from her body and grabbed Ash, lifting Ash into the air. Ash sighed, looking bored, and she looked at Raven, shooting a beam at the pale Titan. Raven flew back and landed with a loud THUD! onto the floor.

_"Raven!" _

Beast Boy rushed to Raven's side while Ash stepped into the elevator and went to another level. Raven sat up, rubbing her head; her hair was slightly fried. Beast Boy held her back, supporting her while he was kneeled beside her.

"I'm okay," Raven muttered, looking at the elevator doors, which were now closed. "What does she want?"

The Titans found themselves battling Ternion. While Ternion had shut down Cyborg and knocked out Raven and Beast Boy, Robin and Starfire were still fighting him. Starfire flew back as Ternion hit her and she nearly crashed against a wall, but Ash caught her.

"Eep!" Starfire shrieked, landing in Ash's arms. She raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here, Ash? Robin told you to remain at the tower!"  
"Whoops! Did I forget that?" Ash said sarcastically, dropping Starfire. "I will admit, I've got a rebellious streak. That makes me attractive; I wouldn't be surprised if Robin drops down on his knees and begs me to date him."

"You will expect no such thing!" Starfire glared, but Ternion roared, grabbing her attention. "But first, I must take down foe Ternion!"

"Heh, his name sounds like a song I've heard," Ash commented, yet to strike Ternion with her powers. "But whatevs, time to bring this sucker down!"

Ash flew into the air—a power she had not mentioned—and she fired her eye beams at Ternion. Ternion shrieked and collapsed, taken out by Ash's hit. The rest of the Titans came to, either rubbing their heads or staring at Ash with bafflement. Ash flipped her hair.

"Okay, let's get pizza!"  
"We barely know you!" Robin retorted.

"Well, now that I'm a Teen Titan, we need pizza."  
"Yo! I don't know what's goin' on in your brain, but you're _not _a Titan!" Cyborg said.

"Whatevs," Ash said, and she flew over to Beast Boy. He was still on the ground, but at least he was conscious again; likewise with Raven. Ash put her hand on Beast Boy's knee, which made him freeze. "So, Beastie Boo... how about you say we skip this party and head on to a more… _private _place? I mean, _all _the guys want me. Face it, you want me, too!"

"HELP!" Beast Boy shrieked.

A garbage can surrounded in an aura of dark energy crashed into Ash's side, knocking her a good ten feet away. The Titans turned to look over at Raven, whose hood was up, along with her glowing hand. She lowered it and took off her hood; her face was emotionless.

"You're welcome."

Robin had gathered a team meeting in the kitchen while Ash in the infirmary; the team was sure she was faking being unconscious from Raven's hit, but then again, they weren't sure exactly _how _hard the hit with the garbage can had been. Starfire and Cyborg were sitting by the counters while Robin and Beast Boy were standing up around the other side of the kitchen.

"We need to get to the bottom of this 'Ash' girl," Robin stated, bringing the meeting to session. "Are there any clues revealing her real origin? Has she mentioned anything suspicious?"

Beast Boy was pacing and thinking, tapping his chin for an added dramatic effect, when a bell rang in his mind. His face dropped with annoyance as he made the realization.

"I think I know who's really behind this," Beast Boy said, stopping in his position. He pulled out his communicator. "Kid Flash, come in, Kid Flash."

The redhead's face popped up onto the screen with a mischievous grin. It looked as though he was in a fancy restaurant. He looked very amused, but Beast Boy did not.

"Did you send Ash here?"  
"Yep."

"Why?"  
"As much as I hate to ditch the suspense… revenge," Kid Flash answered, examining his nails (although they were gloved). He looked back up at the communicator and flashed a grin. "Admit it… it was a pretty good prank."

A familiar female voice piped up in the background. "Are you done, Wally?"

Beast Boy suppressed a laugh. "'Wally'? Jinx calls you by your real name? Dude, that's, like, against the unspoken rules of heroism!"

Kid Flash shrugged. "Eh, I don't really care… I'm Kid Flash 24/7. As are the rest of the Titans… er, not as me, though. You get what I'm saying?"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I don't wanna cut into your date or whatever you're doing, so… later, dude!" Beast Boy dropped the call.

"Wait, so _Kid Flash _back-pranked us?" Cyborg yelled, just in time for Ash to wander into the Main Ops room.

"Yeah. I called Kid Flash after I realized he knew how to get past our security system, plus he's the fastest boy alive. And, y'know, it was his revenge for us making him sit through fan fiction. Though you gotta admit, he totally digged the whole 'Flinx' concept. I mean, at least he wasn't put with anyone else."

"But Jinx was," Cyborg grumbled. "Man, I shoulda known it was Kid Flash!"

"Ternion was a very realistic hologram Kid Flash and Jinx confiscated from Gizmo. The things technology does nowadays… oh, and also, I lied about most of my powers," Ash cut in, pulling out a scroll and unraveling it to reveal a complete scheme planned out in red ink… and also in Kid Flash's handwriting. "Anyway, Kid Flash hired me for today. $300. Real waste of money on his part, though, seeing how things ended up. Anyway, I was supposed to try and epically fail at seducing Robin and Beast Boy, since that was a part of the plan—I sort of accomplished that with Beast Boy, though—and then I was supposed to make myself feel at home in numerous annoying ways. Too bad Beast Boy figured it out before I could carry out the plan in full…"

"Is Kid Flash nearby?" Robin asked, his eyes darting around the room as if searching for something. "Did he plant cameras here to record our reactions?"  
"Yes and yes. He mentioned he'd be having a date with Jinx… well, more like three wrapped up into one day. He hit up Central City first, then Star City—Speedy's hometown—and he should be in Keystone right now."

Robin looked at the rest of the team and nodded. "Let's go give him a piece of our mind."  
The team advanced towards the door, but Ash stopped them. "Um, tell him he left his wallet," Ash said, lifting up a red and yellow wallet. "He can find me at the park."

The Titans came home after confronting Kid Flash—apparently Jinx played a major role in the prank, too, other than swiping Gizmo's Ternion hologram—and were relieved to find that Ash was gone.

"Good thing she wasn't real," Robin muttered as the team piled into the Main Ops room. "I read two Mary-Sue fics… both were based on the authors themselves. Those Mary-Sues were perfect in every way! If I had to put up with one of those…"

"Please, we must celebrate," Starfire suggested, picking up Silkie from the ground. "We have successfully 'busted' Kid Flash's prank!"

"Well, we passed by the pizza place on the way here," Cyborg said. "Maybe we should just chill here at home."

Raven silently made her way to the computer, and within a few minutes, she was typing away. The team looked at her with curious looks.

"What are you doing?" Robin asked.

Raven looked over her shoulder and smiled maliciously. "Oh, you'll see."

Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, and Beast Boy looked at each other and shrugged.

_ONE HOUR LATER_

Jump City was quiet, still, and safe. The tower's island was peaceful, and the moon reflected off the calm waves of the surrounding water. The peace was soon interrupted by three shrill screams.

_"RAVEN!"_

Meanwhile, Raven was sitting back in the swivel chair, her arms crossed with a sense of satisfaction. Up on the television screen was a fan fiction… written by Raven featuring Sladin, Cy & Fixit, Star in a love triangle between Red-X and Plasmus, and Beast Boy with Monsieur Mallah.

Face it: you'd scream in agony, too.

..or maybe collapse into an unconscious state like Robin did when he realized Raven had the nerve to ship the Boy Wonder with Slade.


End file.
